When Well-Meaning Parents Are The Problem

 

I can’t tell you how many, well-intended, loving parents that I have worked with that genuinely “only” wanted their children to be happy and successful in the sport they love. Many were surprised to learn they were putting unintended pressures on their child through comments they were making.  Many comments that are intended as support can be received by the child as pressure.   The good that the parent wanted can end up having the opposite effect and actually causing the pressure.  

 

It quite often doesn’t have anything major to do with the parent and all to do with the child.  Their inherent nature is to want to please their parents.  It is how the child responds to those types of comments that can cause the problem. Learning how to recognize pressure, where it’s coming from, and how to handle it is an important skill for our kids to learn in order to deal with future...

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Oh no! My Kid Got Cut!!

Being cut from a team is one of the most difficult situations for athletes to handle. It's also one of the most difficult situations for parents to deal with because our natural instincts are to want to step in and rescue them and take away the pain that they are feeling.  Believe me, I understand!  I am a parent!    

Taking the pain away is one of the worst things that we can do as parents

Our kids are meant to learn this lesson to see how they are going to respond to challenges like this in the future.  However, your role is crucial at this point.  If you make excuses for them, or blame the coaches, or even belittle them for not being good enough, it can have a lasting effect on how they handle these types of challenges in the future.

Your role is not to try to fix it. Instead, it is to help guide them through the pain, embarrassment, doubt, and fears they have just experienced as a result of not making the team. 

So, how do...

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2020: A Clear Distinction Between Champions and Wanna-be’s

Hello Parents!  

 It’s been a crazy year full of lots of challenges!  But even in the midst of the craziness and all the challenges presented, I still feel as though it was a productive year because of the things I’ve learned along the way. These lessons help me to grow as a person and as a coach. I would like to share these lessons and insights to end this year and start the new year with a clean slate.

 Before I share these lessons, I need to preface it by explaining a technique I use with the athletes I work with on how to turn any loss into a victory, or how to turn a challenging situation into one where they can learn and grow from it. 

 At the end of every game, at the end of every season, and/or after a setback or challenge, I have them ask themselves these three magic questions:

 

  1. What did I learn?
  2. How am I going to use what I learned in the future?
  3. What were three positives that came out of it?

 

When used...

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Parents: Take Care of Your Mental Health First

This year has been one for the history books, for sure.  All of this quarantining has been a foreign territory for most of us and especially for our kids.  Most of the parents I talk to have voiced their concern for their child and how their children are struggling with the emotional challenges that have been caused by the pandemic. The isolation, fears, and doubts are accompanied by irritable outbursts, not to mention the video game addiction that seems to be taking over our children! 

It's normal for most parents to become concerned for their child's mental health, although the pandemic has taken it to a whole new level.

However, the oxygen mask analogy comes into play here. As parents, it is natural to try to take care of our children, often putting our own needs in the background.  By doing that, we end up not taking care of ourselves or them.  You need to put your own mask on first or you will be no good for your kids.  We...

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