Hi, my name is Jeff, and I am a recovering people pleaser.
I always thought that I alone was 100% responsible for everyone else’s happiness in the world. Growing up, I felt I had to win in sports, not upset anyone, follow all rules, felt responsible for everyone else's feelings, and do exactly what I was told, or I was a horrible person. There was no gray area in my mind.
A glaring example of this was when I worked at the Olympic committee helping athletes that were struggling with eating disorders. I did not enjoy my time there because of the politics and they operated on a completely different belief system than me. This caused many fights with the coaches for how they dealt with the athletes. I felt completely powerless, depressed, and beat down.
The worst part of it was that I continued to work there only because I wanted to be able to tell people, “hey, look at me, I’m cool, I work at the Olympic Committee.” I stayed longer than I should have because I was worried about what everyone would think if I quit.
So, you've heard my story. How about yours? Are you a people pleaser?
Here are a few questions that you can ask yourself to identify if you are a people pleaser or not:
People-pleasing is a curse. It causes anxiety, depression, unnecessary guilt, irrational thinking, and a lack of assertiveness. Not a good combination for our mental health and long-term personal success. I'll talk about how to overcome this curse in Part 2.
I was able to turn my curse into a blessing. It is the main reason I am a counselor today. Doctor “heal thyself” definitely shaped my path. In helping others overcome their curse, I overcame mine.
Thanks for reading!
Jeff Miner, LPC, M.Ed.
Owner/Founder of Triumph Performance Institute
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