Dealing with Disappointment

How To Turn A Loss Into A Victory or Disappointment Into Achievement

Wouldn’t it be great to never lose again? Or to allow disappointment to get you down? What if I told you that I have developed the secret that will allow you to never lose again and to turn disappointment into achievement? Would you be interested? 

Actually, I can make that claim if you are willing to examine how you have viewed “winning and losing” and disappointment in the past. You see, life is a very funny teacher.

You typically don’t start off being able to accomplish great things. You have to lose before you can win. Example: you had to crawl before you walked. You didn’t just take off walking one day.

Can you remember anything you have ever done where you just did it and (POOF) you were the best? Probably not. We all have to lose before we can win. To have disappointment to appreciate achievement.

With that said, most of us tend to get sad, frustrated, and angry when we lose or are disappointed. We tend to blame ourselves or our teammates, we make excuses and beat ourselves up for not being perfect, or feel sorry for ourselves. And, while we are busy beating ourselves up or wallowing around in self-pity, we neglect to use the loss or disappointment as the true gift that it is.

We fail to learn, which means in the end, we failed. 

True Loss Is When We Fail to Learn

Losing is not something that should be handled with guilt or shame and it's OK to feel disappointment.  The true loss only happens when we fail to learn from defeat or disappointment. So, how can we learn to turn a loss into a win, or disappointment into achievement?

Here’s the secret……… 

Ask yourself the following questions after the loss or disappointment: 

  • What did I learn? 
  • How can I use it? 
  • What are three positives that came out of it? 


Each time you lose or are disappointed, you are bettering yourself as a competitor. You are learning how to be better the next time you compete. Each time, you are growing as a person. 

When we look at losing and disappointment in this way, we learn that losing is not the enemy but failing to learn is.

Thanks for reading!

Jeff Miner, LPC, M.Ed

CEO of The Triumph Performance Institute & "Head" Coach


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